Monday, April 23, 2012

Things I don't want to hear.

Things I don't want to hear.

It would have been better if you had miscarried.
I'm so thankful I had healthy kids.
Why don't you just let them stop his heart?(one of the options given)
Now you don't have to buy as much baby stuff.
It as God's will/It was fate.(yes I believe this but I don't need to hear it).
Two is going to be so much easier than three.
Two is a lot cheaper than three.
You should just let them take it away and deal with it so you don't have to see it.
You shouldn't cry, It's not a real baby till its born.
Maybe you will be lucky and he will be stillborn.
Just forget about it and focus on the other two.
At least you still have two.

yes...IT IT IT...his name is ASHER. He has a name. I dared to name him. MY SONS NAME IS ASHER.

If you aren't sure what to say, don't say anything. Say I'm sorry, say I'll listen if you need to, say it's ok to cry. Tell me it's not my fault. Tell me the world won't end.


  1. Asher is a special baby. I think he was sent to watch over his brother and make certain that they are going to be okay. Take a look at Asher's angelic face. He hasn't even been born yet, but he is an angel sent by God to watch over all of you. I wish that I could do more to support you.

  2. NEW reader here: I dont tech have a n angel baby but do have an experiance with one that was horrible to say the least) i wont pretend to even begin to say i know what your going through. But would like to offer prayers and encouragement as much as I can
    Do people really say those things. As if loosing your precious Asher means nothing just because you have two other children? I just dont believe how cruel the world can be these days. I will continue topray for Asher, your other two children ???names?? and you as well as your family as a whole...becasue you ARE a family all of you! I will pray for a peaceful and TERM delivery and that god will give you time with lil Asher. Better yet IF you are a believer as I am, you will understand if i pray for healing complete healing. And not only will i pray for it but i will believe it to be so. God bless you and your family. I hope we can chat sometime. Prayers are in bounty even as i type this message

  3. Sadly yes, I keep getting these comments. I'm ready to print this post out and hand it out.
    the new one...people keep referring to him as my sick baby. If he were sick they could probably fix him.

  4. Thats just auful. People are cruel.
    Where do you live?

  5. In washington state, soon to be the east side

  6. *hug* unfortunately you will find often when people don't know what to say they spout out unintentionally insensitive comments. Although it is unintentional they are still hurtful. I wish it were not this way as I myself have been experienced being told some of the above comments you had mentioned. Asher is real and he is a baby and he is just as important to you as his siblings. Neither one replaces the other, I wish people would understand that. I've been struggling with this issue myself and have come to the unfortunate conclusion that not everyone will know the right thing to say.

    love and prayers

  7. I can't believe that people say that stuff. Asher definetley isn't an IT! He is a beautiful and special baby! I am praying for you as you go through all of this.

  8. thank you Pennynjon. I was thinking about you and Ella earlier. I keep meaning to comment but keep getting sidetracked. She is such a gorgeous baby. She looks so sweet and so peaceful.