Wednesday, June 2, 2010

idiots sometimes rule the world.

Weird situation I'm dealing with.
I know a person that has 3 kids, two are twins, under the age of 18 months. She claims she never knew she was pregnant with her first until a couple weeks before he was born, never had symptoms, had done pregnancy tests but they were all negative etc. Then bam, pregnant and having a kid. With the twins, she found out only a couple months before they were born. Same thing, tested negative etc.
So, now she is pregnant again. Due july 30-aug 15th. She says she is 25 wks. I'm 22 wks due oct 4th with a planned birth of sept 3rd. but if she is due aug 15th that would make her nearly 30 wks.
Is my math off or does this make no sense?
Last week she had an episode of bleeding and she says first they told her she was having a period. then they said a miscarriage. and now they are doing another ultrasound on friday because the one they did that day didn't show anything wrong.
Another friend confided in me that this person told her the doctors told her that its all in her head. So...for now I don't let it get to me. Ignore her.

What really got me this morning was a conversation with her.
We were talking about Asher dying. And I was talking about how in some ways its more difficult than the multiple miscarriages. They were sudden and unexpected, this I have months to think about and prepare for. She said "yes I know exactly how you feel, with the others i only had like weeks to get ready but this one is bad."
How can it be bad? It's wonderful to have time to prepare for a baby. I know I have 2 others to get ready for. I know I have time to try to prepare for Ashers death. but ffs. how the hell do you ever prepare yourself for the death of a baby compared to the birth of a baby?


  1. I do not think there is any way to prepare for the death of a child. We have had people think it was easier for us than parents whose losses were more sudden because we had a "warning" or we had "time" to get used to the idea, how does one prepare themselves? We don't. It is different not easier and not harder, just different.

    love and prayers

  2. definitely. Regardless if its sudden and unexpected, or you have time to plan, its still a loss and it still hurts. Its different. its not easier, and its not harder. I do have time to prepare, but I also have a lot more time to mourn this loss before it happens.