Rage. Uncontrollable rage in me. The anger I feel at going through all this only to lose one of my babies. I can't tell anyone how I feel. People think I'm crazy already for being willing to go through this.
How the hell am I supposed to feel about my baby dying. How am I supposed to feel knowing I carry him inside me like he is.
yeah. I'm crazy for going through with this. Maybe I should have done a reduction early on. We might have gotten lucky and killed the right one. Or maybe not.
Who can I talk to that won't be freaked out by the dead baby factor?
People tell me it will be best to forget him. I can't. and I know I can't talk about him.
I am in pain. physical and emotional.
moms up and we are headed to the hospital. likely having contractions. 21 wks. Will I still be pregnant tomorrow?
I am drowning. I need to breathe.