The biggest conflict in my mind is what to call them. I know there are three, triplets, but I will only be taking two home.
Do I live with explaining constantly as I'm sure referring to them as triplets will result in?
My biggest fear? That Asher will be forgotten. That others won't remember him, his place on this Earth, his role as a sibling, his meaning for me.
Even now while still pregnant I'm sometimes at a loss as to what to say. Mostly I say I'm having three, but one has a birth defect that's not compatible with life. Most people get that, others say I'm sorry I hope he recovers quickly. It makes me wonder if they don't understand what I'm saying, or just don't know what to answer.
Dear baby boy,
I promise to never forget you. You will always be in my heart. Your siblings will know you as I do, and anyone that will listen will learn.
Just because you aren't here physically doesn't mean that I don't have you with me.
Love mommy
About Me
- momma to be
- My name is Jerri, wife to Mike, and momma to be to 3 special spirits, through the assistance of technology(IVF) . Mathew Aidan, Lillith Aaliyah Samara, and Asher Quinn. At 15 wks we were told Asher has a neural tube defect called Anencephaly. We are told Asher won't survive, that if we are lucky we could have him a few days, but its unlikely. I praise God for the miracle of these three, and I will accept any time that we are allowed to have Asher with us.
I actually read somewhere about another woman's same dilemma. She too had triplets and one did not make it. She still referred to the surviving two as triplets and when someone asked, she said the third was in heaven. She planned to tell her triplets where their third sibling was. I don't know if this helps, hun, but it is an idea to think about
ReplyDeleteKim
I love telling people that I have 4 children (those that do not know of Lilly). *hug* there is so much strength and love in your words. I love your letter to him.
ReplyDeletelove and prayers
elena